How Two or More Viewers Can Use Netflix for Maximum or Minimum Results

Step 1

• A group of two or more people decides to watch Netflix.
• Joy ensues.

Step 2

• Find a device for watching Netflix.
• Hope/Pray that you have a good/great Internet connection.

Step 3

• Launch Netflix and browse its selection.
• While browsing, discuss what shows look good or great, or what shows look like total shit. Engage in a hearty conversation with your fellow Netflixers. It’s okay to pretend like you know what you’re talking about, even if the movie, actors, directors, producers, or genres look unfamiliar to you. This is a rewarding part of the Netflix experience.

Step 4

• If, after deciding that all of the shows are shit or if no show has been agreed on, turn off Netflix and end the Netflix experience.
• If a show has been agreed on, move to Step 5.

Step 5

• Watch the selected show! And — if you can — enjoy the show from start to finish.
• Talk freely if you like about the movie, or anything else. Or shut the fuck up and enjoy the movie.
• If you watch the show from beginning to end and want to watch another show, go back to Step 3.
• While watching the show, if somebody has decided the show is not worth watching, go to Step 6.

Step 6

Stop the show and go back to Step 3, repeating as necessary, until you:

• watch a show completely
• give up on Netflix and stop the Netflix experience
• realize that repeating the browsing, viewing, and stopping process only to have watched 2–45 minutes of 2–45 shows for a combined 90 minutes has been futile